You’d think it couldn’t be that hard to keep a human alive. I mean, most people manage. Today has been one of those days. Who knew a 7 month old could be so impetuous?
This mornings heart stoping moment was when we were out and was crawling around and playing happily. He found and broke off a leaf from a plastic plant. It got lodged in the back of his throats and he couldn’t breathe. I’ve not ever felt anything like it but had the company of another mother who gave me the confidence to apply all I knew about choking first aide. Thankfully, despite having a very distressed boy, he was okay.
That moment was enough to zap the energy from me, leaving a very flat and emotional mother bear.
Locally, we have the most amazing mother group and this afternoon I had the chance to offload, cry and be supported. I left feeling mildly more confident about my parenting abilities only for moments later, just out the door of the centre, while crawling around a real leaf got stuck in the back of his throat. This time back tapping and thumping didn’t bring it up and I had to put my fingers deep into the back of his throat causing him to throw up, bringing the leaf up.
I come home in distress to tell my husband all that had happened. We spend the rest of the afternoon loving, kissing and nurturing our child. I am especially shaken in the light of little Alby who recently at three years old lost his life to choking in the most unlikely way. It hit us hard particularly as his family live a mere 2 hours drive from us. Oh my heart hurts for the Davis family. #foreverthreeforeverthree #ripalby
Then, tonight my Mountain Man is about to walk out of the door and says to Valley, “don’t pull that stool onto you”, which he has never done before I might add. Well before he had a chance to get into his car he hears a heart wrenching scream. Sure enough my son pulled the stool onto his face. Blood was all through his mouth.
My son is a water baby so we straight away run the bath with our calming organic soaps and it does calm him. Momentarily. I’m there right with him and he slips and hits his head on the side of the bath. Oh can my heart take any more? Is this the “normal” mothering experience?
By the grace of God my son sleeps tonight whole and healthy. My cheeks are stained with tears as I believe many mothers have been and will be in the future. Raising boys.